RESONANCE
Every couple should understand resonance. Quantum physics now teaches that although matter seems solid it is mostly space bubbling with energy. All life is composed of energy. We connect with certain people easily because we resonate with their energy. This is the underlying reality for though we meet people we share values, experiences and interests with we may never be strongly drawn to them or feel close simply because we don’t resonate with them on an energetic level.
Couples, at least in the beginning, resonate strongly with each other. It is essential to maintain this basic resonance. When you feel distant from your partner the most direct way back is to tune up your energetic resonance. Then everything starts flowing again and your ability to communicate and straighten things out becomes much easier.
The illustration below shows the basic energetic levels of our being. Wholeness is when we are connecting with each other on all levels. We can also call this real Love. The highest, most subtle level is the Light body which is the Light of pure consciousness. It is silent, always serene, open and spacious. When we consciously touch our Light body we feel freedom and peace. To resonate with each other’s Light is to feel pure Love flowing to each other, for in the deepest sense, Love is our attraction to the Light of Life. So let’s focus there.
Composed of atomic energetic shells but is actually 99.99% empty space full of the Light of Awareness.
Stores emotional trauma, fear, grief, anger, and all self created sense of self that is self sabotaging and limiting.
When free flowing is naturally pleasurable, healthy, harmonious, healing and easily ecstatic.
The Divine pattern of perfection, radiant Light of Life, peace, eternally pure, constantly loving, utterly beautiful.
1. Put your hands over the very top of your head, as if you were holding a small ball there. Sense the space between your hands and head. As you put your attention there open your hands slowly as if the ball was getting bigger and brighter.
You can also use your breath. As you breathe out, imagine your breath traveling up your arms, out your hands and filling the space above you with Light.
When your arms get tired bring them slowly down and do the same over your heart, sensing the space between your hands and heart. Breathe in slowly and feel the sky enter your chest. Breathe it in deeper until you feel the open space of sky deep inside you. Imagine this space as pure Light. As you breathe out expand the open space outward with your hands. From deep inside this space breathe out Love. In with open, spacious sky, out with Love.
Now slowly move your hands up over the front of your body, sensing the energy presence. Move it slowly over your face, back up to the top of your head. Expand it open, surrendering, drinking in Light and Life. Bring it back down to your heart and open it, pouring out Love.
Let this Life energy fill your body and all the space around you. Keep doing this, up and down, until you feel charged with energy and pure Presence.
Now let’s bless those we care about through this powerful law of resonance. They don’t have to be present. They can be across the world. There is no time or space on this level of Spirit.
Imagine that you are your partner. Imagine their hearts as a round window of Light and that they are open and free. Open your heart with your hands as you wish blessing upon them. Now move your hands up and open the area over your head, then down and out again through your heart. Breathe in Light and breathe out Love. Circulate the flow of Life freely. Be them — wide open and blessed.
Do the same for your children, parents, siblings, friends and whoever comes to your heart. What is in your deepest heart is exactly what is in their deepest heart. We are all connected to one open, spacious freedom of Being. The energy you are opening yourself to is happening for them at the same instance in the energetic realms. Just give freely, and bless. You will be amazed at the results over time!
IMAGINATIVE ATUNEMENT
Imagine your partner sitting in front of you, leaning back against your chest. See both of your hearts wide open and shinning with Light. Breathe the Light in and Love out through both of your open hearts at once. Feel the oneness that you are, we all are, on this level of Pure Light. This is creating a powerful energetic resonance.
If you have a child or children, see them sitting in front of you and your partner, all of the family leaning back against each other. Imagine everyone’s heart open and breathe the Light in and Love out through you all. Everyone resonating with Pure Light, pure freedom, happiness and peace.
WHEN TOGETHER: BLESSING
Sit or stand in front of each other and use your hands to open your hearts. As you do, breathe out love to each other’s hearts. Then sycronize your movements: as one breathes out and gives through their hands the other breathes in and receives: back and forth in rhythm. Look at each other’s eyes with wishes of love. Occasionally move your hands back up to the top of your heads, open wide, then move them back down and breathe out love and blessing through hands, hearts and eyes: back and forth. Let it build stronger and follow the Spirit. Love will tune and guide you.
Let your partner sit in front of you, leaning back against your chest. You can take turns being in the back.
First open the top of your head with your hands until you feel wide open. Now imagine both of your hearts open and shinning with Light. Put your hands over their hearts and breathe the Light in and Love out through your open heart and hands right into theirs: Light into Light. Feel the oneness that you are, we all are, on this level of Pure Light. The Light will atune you directly to each other for in this good Light everything is forever One.
Switch positions, then, why not flow right into celebrating this wide openness we call intimacy. See where it leads you.
(See the Sacred Sex workshop.)
This is one of the most powerful spiritual exercises I know. The effects can be absolutely life changing. Like all other exercises, you go deeper with practice. Don’t just try it once and say, “That was interesting…” rather say, “Let’s go deeper next time.” This attitude is what carries you on to greater and greater experiences and realizations.
We all long to see and be seen: for someone's full loving attention. Therefore we will practice meeting this essential need by simply gazing into each other’s eyes and moving through the levels of our being, like riding up an elevator past emotions and thoughts until we reach the top. The top is the pure presence of the Divine in each other. When you touch this level… well it is beyond words. You will know it for sure. It is like waking up for a moment in all the beauty we secretly long for and realizing it is real.
Create a space where you will not be disturbed. You can put on some very soothing music if you like. And turn off the telephones!
Now sit comfortably in front of each other. This can be either on chairs with knees almost touching, or setting on the floor with crossed legs. Sit up tall and relax. Take a few slow deep breaths and why not smile at each other as you let your breaths out. This will loosen you both up.
Now simply gaze into each other’s eyes. To move beyond just sitting and blankly staring pay attention to these key things:
| Guidelines for Soul Gazing 1. Don’t try and do anything. Just look into your partner’s eyes with your full attention as if you were watching a movie you really liked. 2. Drink in the person. Be fully receptive to them, just as they are. The deep breathing will help you do this. When you realize your attention is on your mind, bring it back to their eyes. 3. Don’t “expect” to touch the highest level of the other person. This is not up to you. Just be open. 4. Allow whatever you feel to pass through you. This means you will allow the other person to see you, even if this means seeing anxiety in your eyes, or anger, or boredom… whatever. Just allow what is in you to be and to pass. You can best do this by simply returning to their eyes. See them, no matter what you are feeling. 5. Look into one eye at a time. Avoid quickly looking back and forth. The eye on your right is the eye connected to their right brain, the one on the left to their left brain. You may observe a real difference in the eyes as the right and left brain are very different. Accept whatever you see in each one. If you are drawn to one eye more than the other, put your attention there. 6. When you are comfortable, defocus a bit: meaning just observe your entire field of sight rather than trying to see any particular thing. This will relax you even more. 7. Agree before hand about how long you will sit in this meditation. You don’t have to have a timer, but if you do it could help. Believe it or not, 3 minutes is a long time to gaze into another person’s eyes. Remember the saying, the eyes are the window of the soul. A whole lot can happen in just a few minutes. You can extend the time as you practice and get more comfortable with it. 8. There is something in us all that resists every movement towards waking up and becoming free. Observe this resistance and the variety of excuses it comes up with and — if you really want to be free — move past it by bringing your attention back to your partner’s eyes. Let yourself be seen. It really is ok. |
THINGS THAT MAY HAPPEN
I hesitate a bit about sharing this as I want you to be free of expectations. On the other hand it is good to know that you are on track if you start to experience different states of consciousness.
1. You may see shifting emotions within their eyes. Just watch. This is not a time for analysis. You are not there to fix anything, just to see each other with acceptance. Being seen without criticism is the fix.
2. You could begin to sense and see deeper energetic realities coming through their entire face. These are spiritual layers within their body/mind systems. Your partner may start to appear much older or look very beat up. If so this is probably their pain body. Just watch. We all have these energetic levels in us. They affect our emotions, thoughts and attitudes. The pain body is our wounded shadow side. It is part of being human! Bringing healing to it is a big part of growing whole. You may even get a sense that you are seeing very old things they are carrying from past lives. It doesn’t mean you have to believe in reincarnation. The fact is these are energetic realities within us. We don’t have to try and figure everything out. We are very mysterious beings.
3. You may begin to touch the Divine in each other. On this level something huge happens. It is like some greatness shows up, something astonishingly beautiful. It is up to your higher selves if this is happens, so don’t try to force it — and don’t feel you’ve failed if it doesn’t. All trying comes from ego and blocks it. This experience comes through complete allowing… in other words your relaxed, open state. If this happens, just give thanks and allow it to deepen your love for each other. Above all: don’t go into an ego trip about it. This is a danger. Ego is a temporary, self-created sense of self identity. It will die with our body. This higher level has absolutely nothing to do with ego. It is a selfless state. True self is selfless Love. We are free to the extent we resonate with this.
| Here are links to some of the other IHC workshops that "resonate" strongly with this one. Each one will add to the depth and richness to your growing experience. |
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HOL
Opening your spiritual centers |
Healing in Christ
Healing each other in Love. |
The Five Breaths
A daily exercise of openness. |
Sacred Sex
Sex as pure opening. |